A culinary and cinematic experiment unlike any other, Wacky Snacky Jackie Chan (WSJC) was founded in February 2025 to honor two cornerstones of modern civilization:
- The filmography of Jackie Chan
- Unusual snacks
Some might call these snacks unnecessary, but they would be sadly mistaken. Wacky snacks are the hallmark of an advanced society—a bellwether of our relentless pursuit of greatness, excess, and decadence. Just as humanity, having conquered soil and sea, reached for Everest and then the stars, so too did we transcend the humble Cheez-It to create the Extra Toasty Cheez-It, the Extra Cheesy Cheez-It, the Extra Crunchy Bold Cheddar Cheez-It—and so on. It’s in this Pursuit of Wackiness that we attain ever more daring heights of deliciousness and depravity, expanding our understanding of truth, beauty, and freedom.
At the inaugural gathering for WSJC, participants arrived armed with an arsenal of eccentric edibles, ranging from mildly intriguing to utterly cursed. What follows is an unflinching review of the night’s most memorable (and regrettable) bites.
Cheese Pizza Cheetos Puffs Almost indistinguishable from regular Cheetos Puffs (which are already inferior to non-puff Cheetos IMO), but with a cloying aftertaste of artificial tomato. 4/10.
HBAF New York Cheeseburger Flavored Popcorn Very sweet, like a burger that’s been marinated in ketchup for 24 hours. Tastes like regret. 2/10.
Quinn Pizzeria Cheezy Filled Pretzel Nuggets Inoffensive, unremarkable, utterly benign. I felt nothing. 4/10.
Harry Potter™ Butterbeer Flavored Goldfish Nothing in common with actual Goldfish except the vague shape of the crackers and container. More like a tiny graham cracker bite, with a ghost of butterscotch flavor. Genuinely tasty, despite the transphobic aftertaste. 7/10.
Wegman’s cannoli dip If you’ve ever wanted to dunk your dessert into what is essentially vanilla cake frosting, congratulations, your moment has arrived. A crowd pleaser, but too sweet for me personally. 5/10.
Oreos, blueberry & raspberry flavored Smells like a chemical spill, tastes like a stomachache. Unspeakably vile. 0/10.
Lay’s Wasabi Octopus Potato Chips Surprisingly balanced mix of wasabi kick and subtle seafood umami. I don’t particularly like octopus, but I’d still munch these at a party (which, in fact, I did). 7/10.
Wilde Protein Chips: Chicken & Waffles Flavor Starts off promising, with a solid punch of maple syrup, but then quickly devolves into stale chicken and sadness. By the end, it was like chewing on dry gritty bits of charred bacon. A riveting journey, albeit with a tragic ending. 1/10.
Buffalo Wing Cheez-Its Could have used a stronger dose of hot sauce, but honestly, they’re just slightly tangier Cheez-Its—which is fine by me, Cheez-Its are fire. 9/10.
Crayon Shinchan Ramen Snack Jjajang Flavor Mildly sweet and bready; like a dry, savory cereal. I quite liked them, though they’re a bit awkward to eat by hand. 7/10.
S’noods: Rigatoni Basil Pomodoro I didn’t like the texture, but the roasted tomato + parmesan flavor was compelling. 5/10.
Healing Home Foods Baked Maple Cinnamon Graham Bites Nearly perfect—just the right mix of maple and cinnamon, with a phenomenal buttery texture. The preferred vessel for cannoli dip. The only issue: not particularly wacky. 9/10.
Salt & Vinegar Goldfish Crisps Shocking. Delightful. Somehow better than both regular Goldfish and salt & vinegar chips. Mildly sweet, with a bready finish. Could’ve devoured the whole bag if I wasn’t still recovering from the Oreo incident. 10/10.
Smackin’ Dill Pickle Flavored Sunflower Seeds Pleasant but underwhelming. The pickle flavor whispers where it should shout. 6/10.
Ottogi Ppushu Noodle Snack Bulgogi Flavor Literally just uncooked ramen with a packet of dry seasoning—which, as it turns out, is pretty damn good. 7/10.
After indulging in this dizzying array of questionable snacks, we moved on to the evening’s cinematic main course: Half a Loaf of Kung Fu, a martial arts comedy parody starring (and co-written by) the man, the myth, the Jackie Chan.
As the film began, we settled into a collective reverie and/or torpor as our bodies tried (but mostly failed) to derive sustenance from the lurid mixture of artificial flavors and preservatives we’d just ingested. Much like the snacks themselves, the film was an exercise in pushing boundaries—of genre, humor, and cinematic coherence.
By the time the credits rolled, we were full—not just our bellies, but our hearts, with a renewed appreciation for the spirit of invention and the audacity required to create something genuinely new. In both film and food, the road to greatness is littered with failures, yet punctuated by remarkable achievements that make the journey worthwhile.
Stay wacky.